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The cost of playing the rescuer & how to transition to a coach

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People in helping professions often assume the role of ‘Rescuer,’ where they take on responsibilities of solving, fixing, saving, or healing. This mindset often spills over into other areas of life, making them the ‘go-to’ person in their family or social circle; the decision-maker, carer or even funder. But what personal toll does consistently playing this role take? writes industrial psychologist Taegan Devar – MD of organisational development company PeopleSmart 

Taegan Devar
Industrial psychologist Taegan Devar. PeopleSmart

According to David Emerald's Empowerment Dynamic, the Rescuer role is played by someone who steps in to solve other’s problems and derives a sense of validation from this behaviour. When people play the Rescuer, they are often doing so in service of themselves and not to empower and enable others.  

A common example in the workplace is when a new leader, eager to integrate into the team, volunteers to take on other’s tasks. Over time, the leader becomes overwhelmed with excessive responsibilities. Team members notice the pattern and begin to step back and delegate their work upwards. Many leaders I've worked with express frustration about working long hours, feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of tasks that they have taken on from others. This ‘Rescuer’ behaviour reinforces the team's powerlessness and creates a destructive cycle, where both leader and team suffer. In work cultures that glorify this behaviour and long hours, this cycle worsens, often leading to stress, burnout, and poor health. 

SHIFTING FROM RESCUER TO COACH: 

While the Rescuer role fosters dependency, it’s constructive flipside – the role of Coach – views others as naturally creative and capable. This empowering role encourages people to take agency and accountability. A Coach supports individuals by asking insightful questions that help clarify goals, assess current realities, and explore possible next steps. Rather than swooping in to ‘fix’ things, the Coach empowers others to leverage their own talents and strengths to achieve their objectives. 

Leaders in helping professions can adopt coaching behaviours by: 

  • Creating safe spaces and facilitating collaborative problem-solving. Leaders don't need to provide all the answers. Their role is to create environments where others can come together and generate solutions. 
  • Recognising others as capable, creative, and independent. Empower individuals to take ownership of what’s within their control, and trust in their ability to manage it. 
  • Asking questions that inspire self-direction. By asking thoughtful questions, leaders help others define their own goals and develop their own steps toward achieving them, fostering a sense of responsibility and ownership over the process. 

 

Where rescuing leads to dependency for the rescued and exhaustion for the rescuer, coaching produces energy and resourcefulness within both parties. 

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